Saturday, April 9, 2011

Welcome to 666 Flags Over Louisiana!

NOTE: "Inane" commentary... as one Redditor put it... is my perogative. It's just a dumb weblog after all... my dumb weblog. It's called "self deprocating humor". Some would wonder where the "humor" part comes in... maybe you'd have to know me. I never said I was Maddox. But anyway... enjoy.

If you don't know me, let me introduce myself to you as a person who would never tresspass onto private property and take photos of a spooky, abandoned amusement park. It just isn't in my nature. I respect... no scratch that... I FUCKING LOVE the police. Also... I'm a god© fearing, american™ patriot... and I shop only at WalMart™. So if I were to walk alone into the long abandoned "Six Six Six Flags Over Louisiana®" it might have gone a little something like this.

Plenty of places to fall and break a neck... while running from serial killers.

Had I been here I "might" have walked halfway to the top before realizing that everyone passing on the highway might start calling 911 about the guy that was about to jump off the roller coaster.

I'm sure this pistol won many a cheap, throwaway stuffed animal. Also something that might get you shot if you happened to be playing around with it and turned the corner on a patroling Po Po.

It's like a hanging in reverse.

If Pepe LePew was around he'd be hunching on that one.

Place is theoretically littered with'em.

I'm positive every time the wind blew a piece of sheet metal around and it made a sound, the pussy that took these photos jumped and reached for the machete that was hanging from my... I mean his belt. I bet it felt like somebody was watching him.

I figured the whole gang would have beeen there. Looks like only Scooby showed up. "Zowy Maaaaannnn! Heeey Scoob... let's go find an the derelict kitchen and make huge sandwhiches that have fish and whole salamis hanging out of them!" <--- That shit made zero sense. Haunted mansions and amusement parks, one would think, would not be stocked with fresh foods. But those two crackheads could find half a meatloaf under a pile of pinestraw.

The park I would assume... is riddled with these... open pits. That's where the C.H.U.D.s come out from at night. Look it up.

Not anymore.

Kind of sad. No more whiplash.

That dark thing is a gator head. The lagoon in the middle of the park is probably teeming with them. Wildlife has totally reclaimed the area... tons of wild pigs... birds and lizards everywhere. The pussy photographer told me that everywhere he turned his pretty head he saw something flying or scurrying.

Look closely and you will seee a plastic skeleton arm floating down there.

Onee of the best executed pieces in the park. The whole place has been tagged.

I've known a "Road Ho" or two in my day.

The Spook House Exit.

Whole warehouse littered from one end to another with toys... clothes... food packaging. I understand that there is a mountain of perfectly good, thick, white sweatshirts that could be laundered and given to charity. Humans. They will never "Get It".

Find the skull.

The two photos above are of a huuuugggeee fiberglass skeleton head. About the size of a "Small Boulder." "Small Boulder"... kinda like "Jumbo Shrimp".

Yes... yes it does. Thanks pussy photographer. That was interesting.


Chris said...

Okay. I wanna go. Let's go next sunday!

Cynthia said...

Every time I drive by that park on my way to N.O. from Biloxi, I think, "How creepy and sad it that? Wonder of I bring some coke cans, if I can get a cut-rate enterance fee?" You answered that for me. You are "a better man than I, Gunga Dinn!"

Happy Kreg said...

Did you get a funnel cake? How about alien headed, 3 ft tall drink with a lanyard?

I'd have taken that pistol! And one of those bumper cars would look AWESOME in my backyard! Did you at least climb in one? It would be great to get some really clean cut pals to walk around take photos of. Kind like a typically wonderful day at the park kind of shots. Maybe holding some cotton candy with all that abandoned shit in the background. Priceless! Great Christmas cards could be made from those!

Happy Kreg said...

(ok, sometimes I get a little excited and hit "publish" before I proofread my own stuff. i sound like an idiot.)

Kny said...

Kreg... Haha... naw man... all good. And yes I should have nabbed the pistol and a couple other things... maybenext time.

Claudioa said...

I would never describe you as a pussy photographer. When can we go? claudia

Kenn Perkins said...

HA! Well Claudia... I have to entertain myself when I write. Going out there by myself was actually a blast.